On Tuesday I'm leaving for southern France. My parents--looney birds, elders, and inspirations to us all--have bought a house there. The bro and I are heading over to join them for the holiday. I'm taking off of work early, I'm letting my friend and her fiance stay in my apartment (and cleaning insanely beforehand), and I'm packing up the presents, a million papers, my computer, other reading materials and the work I have to continue to do for my jobs while I'm gone. It's a lot of work to get there but nothing else could be worth it, I think.
I will read. I will sleep. I will eat cheese. I will try to do some situps. I will blog most days in detail about the cold, the view, the food, the dog yipping at my feet, the absence of television. I will try not to check my email too much. I will attend a Christmas eve party where I am the only one born in the 80s (or 90s for that matter), because only old villagers and my family will be there. I hope to write a good deal. I'm not sure of the internet situation. I hope not too bad, I do need to use the computer...I didn't take a leave from my music writing job. We aren't really allowed...but I do hope I can duck out for a day or two here and there.
I'm leaving behind my ex, who doesn't know I'm leaving and it doesn't seem right to call him to tell him. It will be his 30th birthday tomorrow or the next day I think. I can't remember. He wanted to go out for it. I said okay, he never followed up. He tried again, I said okay, he never followed up. Texting keeps relationships going that should have gone a long time ago. Still, I miss having a boyfriend and I miss having a best friend. I know I will have another one that encompasses both eventually. But I do wish I'd hurry up and have it already.
A holiday is for family and friends. This year I've only got family, but I'm certainly glad to have one. Excited to see where they've decided to spend their time. Excited for an overnight plane ride (I actually kind of like these). Excited to let my voicemail pile up. Excited to be unavailable for real. It's kind of thrilling to do. And I'm always available.
Putting many, many books on the Kindle that I'm giving my mom and hope to sneakily read them all first before I get over there. Doing laundry. Wishing to be missed and hoping not to miss anyone too much.
Thinking that sadly (or testament to how funny the other stuff could be?), Liz Lemon is now the unfunniest thing about 30 Rock. What's with the constant psycho-sexual stuff? It's getting old. More Lutz, more Jenna, more Jack. Less Liz, less Colleen (she's strangely far too old and annoying), less Avery.
Thinking that I haven't actually been outside today except when I hung out on my terrace.
Resolutions that I can enact starting now: stop having incredibly inactive days on weekends and far too active nights. Work out less crazily, but more regularly. Stop eating things that come in boxes and start eating things that will spoil after a few days. Stop reading things on computer screens. Sleep longer. Sleep less. More popsicles, less emotion. More calls, less text. Fewer dates, more important hang outs. Less talking, more listening. Go away to France and have a good time, turn on the out of office and let it go.