Thursday, January 20, 2011

Girlfriend Getaway

We had an article in the magazine about Girlfriend Getaways. We made fun of it loudly and then found ourselves furtively stealing glances.

Girlfriend Getaway...a vacation just for girls. No boys. No couples allowed. Sun and drinks and dinner and massages and flirting with bartenders...

The more we said it, the better it sounded. So we picked up, and we went. Sunsets, cliff dives, oxtail stew.

Netting on the bed, the villa overlooking water that glittered a hundred shades of blue.

The hot sun beating down on us, in January no less. Pineapple drinks. Rum, rum, rum.

Bikinis and wet sundresses. Extra fries, rice and peas. The white-sand beach, the waves crashing on the bluffs. Flowers on the bed.

The shower? Outside.

Bare feet. Fashion photographers who asked us to party, waitstaff who asked us to dance. We said no and kept on in our pack, headed to the next piece of fruit, wave, snack and magazine. We laughed until we cried. We have a new nickname for everyone we know.

Ten new inside jokes, three new playlists, and hundreds of future plans now.

We did it. We went to Jamaica. It was phenomenal. Pics are a-coming, and I'm going to ice down my sunburn so it will turn into a tan.

Friday, January 07, 2011

What Will You Be Doing With This Snowstorm?

It's snowtime in New York again, and I'm looking at the flakes falling fat, through the four-inch glass windows at work.

I had lots of fun things planned this weekend: a listening party with some music kids tonight, a weekend playdate with two different sets of friends that I never, ever get to see, and some sort of sitting around my fake fire snorefest with someone else. It was packed. It would have been fabulous.

Because of some freak circumstances, I suffered a terrific accident last night and my face looks like I was in a car accident. Fat lip, cuts all over the inside of my mouth, crazy bruising and lesions on my mouth and cheek. I look insane, and I feel even worse.

So, no fun things for me this weekend. Staying in, ordering tea, and watching a hundred movies in a row it is. I'm the girl without a face and I should not be seen by anyone unless it's a dramatic theater-less interpretation of The Phantom Of The Opera.


Let this be a lesson to all of you, be safe out there! In your cars, public transport and beyond. When I come back, I hope to be on the mend. Because next weekend is Annabella's wedding, and then I go to Jamaica, and looking like bruised hell is apparently not allowed at either.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Dear Ex Boyfriends,

If you're reading this blog and you know who I am, you are likely an ex-boyfriend of mine.

Welcome! Pull up a chair. Can I get you a drink? If I'm not mistaken, you like (insert your favorite drink). Yeah, I remembered. How? Cause I was the best thang you evah dated, that's how.

I kid.

Long time, no talk. Surely. Because if we are exes, we don't talk, not really. Maybe we have had errant texts here and there. Maybe you have been asking for a kiss, a date, a drink, me to die, or sharing pictures of your recent camping adventures. Whatever it's been, I wanted to acknowledge it. You and me. It happened. It was awesome. Now it's awful, because when relationships end, it is the worst. Plagues are better. Breakups are to sunshine and puppy dogs as chainsaws are to sunshine and puppy dogs. You, me, it is sooo over. It was my fault, I know that you think so.

How does that make you feel?

If you're anything like me (and if we dated, you are), it's going to make you feel weird. Conflicted and weird. Should we have broken up? Should we some day get back together? Are we actually friends now or fake friends? Will you email me that I wrote this and it was obnoxious? I wonder these things. Other things I wonder: how you are, what makes you laugh, if I can still also make you laugh, and if you heard this recent song that I heard, because it makes me think of you, and I still think of you. Of course I do. I still laugh at the things we laughed at. It's funny how the bad stuff expires but the good stuff never does.

That thing you said. I remember. That thing that you did. I wish I could see you doing it now. My heart? Never whole again. Cause of you. You have that power over me. You probably always will.

Even if I act like I don't, as I said today, that's just my avatar. I use her to get to the next planet. I remember. Of course I do. I'm not a monster, as much as that would make this easier for you.

I've been thinking. I've been missing some things.

Do you miss me? If so, you should tell me. There needs to be more love in this world. we can share love without it being weird, can't we? I mean, we shared everything else. Even if we can't remember. Also I am very vain. If we dated, you already knew this, but I think it bears repeating. I am really vain. And I like to feel special. Don't you? If you say something nice to me, I will say something nice back to you. You deserve it. You are something. You own a piece of me, and that is amazing. I can say that, I can always say that. I will never keep from you the things that made me fall in love with you. No matter who either of us are with, no matter how either of us feel, I will tell you. Just ask.

Will you ask? Or will you be angry? Will you pretend that we are buddies when we aren't. Will you ask me one thing and then change it in the next breath? Will you stay away for months and then call me out of the blue? Will you wish that I will go to hell and stay there? Will you ever wish for me to be happy?

I hope you do. I wish that for you. I wish a lot of things for you. All good. Even if I hate you. Which I do. We're exes after all. Aren't we?

Well whoever you are, and whoever you are with, I hope you're doing well. And I don't expect us to talk, or be normal. I never was very normal to begin with. I hope when we talk it will be civil. I hope it will be kind. I hope you can say something nice to me because I will say something nice to you. I hope we can talk about that thing we laughed about for hours, in your (insert car), at the (insert place we went to), when the sky was (blue/gray/littered with stars). I hope that I don't inspire you to light many fires and I sincerely hope that you will not kill me. That would be very uncool (Brian, I am looking at you, you sick bastard. Ah, I'm kidding again. I never dated a Brian. Did I?).

Also exes, I'm single again. So be gentle if you are. And be very, very gentle if you are not. Cause ruminating on you today is kind of making me dizzy. For what it's worth. Which is, you know, nothing I suppose. Not worth the paper I printed this on, or something along those lines.


Sunday, January 02, 2011

Joyeuex Nouvel An

Happy New Year!

I am ringing it in with jetlag and new blankets, faux fur pillows and apple struesel snack bars, bottled water and good lighting, a to-do list I've only crossed one item off of, a bitter cold day half-slept away and many hours of TV I've missed.

I got in last night and haven't left my apartment since. I have lots of unpacking to do, reading to do, emails to catch up on, and working out to do. But it didn't happen today. Luckily I have tomorrow off and have an article to write by 10 AM, coffee with Annabella, a drive to Morningside Heights, a lofty plan to stop by a design store to buy more suede blankets (can't stop buying these), cash checks, read the rest of that awful Lincoln historical fiction novel for class, sign up at the gym finally, reschedule a dance class, and go to a music meeting. So, I feel okay that I got nothing done today. Busy people get things done, and tomorrow I'm busy.

Today, I'm listening to the wind and lighting the candles and sleeping as I watch or read.

It's going to be a good year.