Thursday, April 30, 2009

Nerd Alert: Fun With Words

I'm not one to post others' words much, but after class last night, I just had to re-post this. These provided me with a grande-sized shot of adrenaline and I had to share my favorites.

Probably standard fare for any regular "how not to" lecture, these did not, and I figure, will not ever cease to make me laugh...

Drumroll please...

"Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay (I do doubt this in many cases, because some of these are just too great...)

1. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

2. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

3. Her eyes were like two brown circles with black dots in the center.

4. Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake. (We agreed this one would be perfect for a tech presentation at work, then again, none of us is a techie.)

5. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

6. Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man".

7. John and Mary had never met. They were like two humming birds who had also never met."

I can't stop laughing at these. I want more. If anyone can help me, I'd be eternally grateful.


C-47 said...

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

C-47 said...

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

Lindsay Champion said...

Man. High school kids aren't stupid, they just don't try.

lindsay ||

David Tellez said...

OMG!!! Thank you for this!!! I cannot stop laughing!!!

Joseph said...

Douglas Adams was a master of using clunky metaphors and similes for comic effect - actually I think some of these might even be his.