Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I can haz ur overused wrdz?

I was perusing some lists of words/phrases that should be banned (that sometimes we all use) and wanted to come up with my own (and steal some of theirs).

10. "Net net".
Hey newly-minted business person who wants to use phrases like "status" and "multiple touchpoints" in normal person-speak, I used to work in advertising too! Now shut up. Damn made up language.

9. "He gave it to Susan and I"
Oh pardon me! I didn't realize I was talking to the Queen of England...except you're just being pretentious and using the word "I" incorrectly instead of "me". Note to those mutton posing as lamb: If you take away the person or article in front of your "I", it damn well better make sense. As in, "He gave it to I vs. He gave it to me."

8. "Snap!"/"Hot Mess"/"Beat Down"/"Hell Yes"
This came up recently when one friend accused another friend of learning their slang from 90s sitcoms like Living Single and City Guys (you know you watched City Guys after Saturday morning cartoons. "C-I-T-Y, you can see why, the city guys!")

7. "Blogosphere". There are not enough descriptors in Dante's Hell that suit my insatiable and inhuman desire to murder this phrase into the ground. See also, "Hipster". See also "Hypocrite" as I have used these both in the past week.

6. "I just threw up in my mouth a little"
Really? I mean, that is wild! See cause when people throw up a little, or even a lot, I thought it was in their ass. Boy, you're clever.

5. "Myself". As in it was Carrie and myself. Refer to #9.

4. "Print is dead". Look, I know the "Internets" is the way of the future, thanks for pointing that out, 1990. What a new concept! The idea that words posted on a screen versus on a page is nothing new. I'd love it however, if people would stop treating this as a new concept, especially anyone born after 1985. Journalistic standards are crap online, and anyone can be famous. Print is the last bastion of the elite. Internet brings people together and waters down talent. Now I work in magazines, and you will pry each one that folds before my eyes from my cold dead hands. I am writing a book. I think writing should be on paper (and have an online supplement). Kids younger than me, stop telling me this is not a worthy pursuit and that PRINT IS DEAD. The young ones always have the conviction but rarely the acumen to truly predict and be cognizant of what is going on the moment they are young. Obama will not be twittering his inaugural address. Yes it's cool that he knows what it is. It's even cooler that he doesn't use it, because to do so would be a dilution. P.S. They said the VCR would be the end of movies and television too. Technology is not our destructor and not our savior. Can we do something a little more important with our lives than decrying some resources and having endless, circular discourse? Also, you tell me my Grandpa doesn't like getting a card in the mail instead of an email. Yeah, he's old, but he's awesome and Australian. Let's listen to him.

(to be finished in a moment...)

4 comments:

Broady said...

I'm with you sister. Did a similar post on my blog a couple of days ago. One phrase that I've noticed popping up at every corner is "stop drinking the kool-aid." Besides hearing it applied in every situation where someone experiences mild dissatisfaction with another's views, what bugs the crap out of me is that the vast majority of these people wearing it out don't even know the origin of the phrase.

jm said...

(#4) wicked rant... have you ever read anything by Walter Ong? He's an unsung hero of communications theory. One of his main ideas was that each new medium doesn't ever replace older media, but incorporates AND complicates them.

D.T. said...

Oh snap! LOL! OMG! I so totally can't wait for the finished rant!

I know I'm not sounding sincere, but I really am curious...

Joe said...

The print versus internet thing is interesting. I personally get far more excited about seeing my work in print than on the web. You can hardly call yourself a 'published writer' if your work only ever makes it on to a website.

But print can actually be more transient than the Internet. The articles I wrote for a monthly magazine 6 months or a year ago can now only be found in my collection or in the hands of a few individuals or in the British Library (which by law demands a copy of of every published periodical in the UK). Most copies unfortunately will have have been trashed long ago.

However, they can still be found in the archives of the magazine website and will remain there indefinitely, the pages won't yellow, the images won't fade and they won't get covered in grubby fingerprints.