Turn

I'm ready to steer my future into the tide. I’ve been still in the current for a while now.

Stagnant, immovable, holding tight to things that used to work but have slowly but surely lost their purpose, their rightness, their veracity.

I was a heavy rock, misplaced and plunked into a lap pool. I caused imperceptible swirls around me which passed without my conscious permission. My so-called important movements foamed away and still I sat. I got nowhere, and the truth is, it was because I didn’t really want to.

I think that’s why things do or don’t happen to us in this life. Our wants don’t translate into what is actionable. We sit and we watch and we think the waves around us happen because we did something, because we weren’t just still. But waves happen regardless. We only impact their direction when we move ourselves.

Today, I convince myself that I am in control, even in the smallest of ways. This thought keeps me positive, elastic, open to the world of changing tides.

Four applications down, seven to go…

Next year at this time, there will be an alternate reality that I have chosen by flowing with the challenges to tunnel under hurdles. I will have moved, physically and mentally.

Moved away and moved on.

I wonder where I’ll be. I wonder who I’ll be. Who will know me and what I will find important once the rest of my body has caught up to my heart…