Monday, November 01, 2010

I'd Rather Be Watching Freaks and Geeks

That post below about the break-up? They're back together. Screaming, crying, one obsessed with the other while the other is just obsessed with himself, back together. Le sigh. I did all that I could. I was a good friend. But there is no telling anyone, especially two anyones who have no damn business in the world being together, that they might want to take a break from one another so they can breathe and rest their throats sore from wailing.

I think I have decided that I am not dating right now. It was halfway between the second and third 4-page letter I read for two different sets of 'break-up no wait fake-up' friends. It was between getting a text of "hey baby" and not realizing who it was from, from two different numbers not saved in my phone this weekend. It was between my London crush coming to visit and wanting to hang out with the sole purpose of making out and seeing nothing wrong when I was put-off and then going back to his adorably flirty emails once he was home, between the boy who lives with his girlfriend who begged to have a sleepover with me, the guy who's asked me out four times and I've canceled every time last minute, the date who told me I had a nice "tushie," the date who ended up having a kid, the guy I thought I could love after two dates who then got deported. I don't date online, I don't blind date, I don't get set up. But I meet a lot of good-looking weirdos. And I have a lot of friends who wade through a lot of relationship crap.

I kind of don't want to be around it this winter. I want to eat whoopie pies and go to yoga, I want to lie on the couch drinking pink lemonade all Sunday, I want to shop for boots all Saturday, I want to go out every night and have none of them be a date, I want to pay for my own drink, I want to split an appetizer with three girlfriends, I want to go to a concert and not get hit on, I want to not wear something low-cut, I want to read, I want to write, I want to dance in my underwear in my apartment.

Someday I might do those things with someone else. For now I've got my favorite sweater and my exes sweet messages once in a while and two jobs and school and dance class and a whole lot of Freaks and Geeks on television.

Not bad for a Monday. A non-dating Monday, and without a prospect in sight. It feels kind of amazing. Next up: a cooking class, re-organizing my closet, trapeze lessons, a trip to France, painting, drawing, singing, or anything else...

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