How to become a literary, a luminary, to know and feel a sparkling flash of purpose and sense of self? In college, I dreamt of becoming a big city fish. In New York, I'm finding that everyone's a piranha.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Man-Snatching Etiquette
TK for now, just in case big brother is watching...
I never comment - no seriously. I'm horrible about clicking though my googlereader, but as I'm a girl very similar to you (IE - do not cheat, have no interest in cheating, etc, etc) thought I'd chime in with my two cents. Also I'm bored at work. =)
I think this is on him. But I do think you owe it to yourself (and just for general decency's sake) to let him know you're not okay with him not telling the other chick about you. Not saying he has to choose between the two of you, but its on him to make sure the both of you are aware that the other exists. he told you, whats the problem with telling her? She doesn't need details and neither do you, and its on him to make a decision.
I think you should let him know that while you like how things are between you two, just that you're not up for any drama (accidental or not) that might result if you were to happen to run into TheFirstGirl on the street or at a movie or something. He needs to be straight with her. Also - how do things move along without him doing anything? Am assuming he has to respond yes to hang outs, make outs and whatever else that might entail.
Anyways, thats just my opinion. I put myself in the other person's spot - and yeah, I'd want to know. Maybe she thinks they're exclusive already and doesn't need to talk, she should have all the information like you do to make a decision.
Good advice from the first poster upthread. I would also tell him that I was dating someone else,too and see how he reacted to that. Accomplishes 2 things: his reaction might give you quite a window into this guy's motivation, or at least see how he deals with the same situation he's dishing out. Second, it keeps him on his toes. He's not the only hot commodity in town ; ) Sometimes games must be played.
Both! Also, good for when you've forgotten to chill the wine and want it right away but are not desperate enough for the WASPy alcoholic aunt-iness of "be a darling and put some ice cubes in it".
Barely the definition of an adult, I'm trying to navigate through the city, the scenesters, the lackies, the lonely, and wondering if
I'll ever fit in.
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7 comments:
I never comment - no seriously. I'm horrible about clicking though my googlereader, but as I'm a girl very similar to you (IE - do not cheat, have no interest in cheating, etc, etc) thought I'd chime in with my two cents. Also I'm bored at work. =)
I think this is on him. But I do think you owe it to yourself (and just for general decency's sake) to let him know you're not okay with him not telling the other chick about you. Not saying he has to choose between the two of you, but its on him to make sure the both of you are aware that the other exists. he told you, whats the problem with telling her? She doesn't need details and neither do you, and its on him to make a decision.
I think you should let him know that while you like how things are between you two, just that you're not up for any drama (accidental or not) that might result if you were to happen to run into TheFirstGirl on the street or at a movie or something. He needs to be straight with her. Also - how do things move along without him doing anything? Am assuming he has to respond yes to hang outs, make outs and whatever else that might entail.
Anyways, thats just my opinion. I put myself in the other person's spot - and yeah, I'd want to know. Maybe she thinks they're exclusive already and doesn't need to talk, she should have all the information like you do to make a decision.
Yes. I cound't have said it better than closetangel. Couldn;t agree more.
You girls are absolutely perfect. I'm taking your advice. And of course will chronicle it here.
Thanks so much for taking the time to listen.
Internet friends RULE.
Run don't walk away from this dude because one day he will be telling some chick he's kinda-but-kinda-not seeing you. Trust.
I, too, rarely comment, but adore the blog & have had some white wine spritzers (ew, but hey, summer). 'S a difficult situation, but when it's good, it's good. Full disclosure: I met my fiancé when I was "still kind of dating" my ex. As long as you & he are honest, if you quite like him it may be worth seeing where it goes.
Good advice from the first poster upthread. I would also tell him that I was dating someone else,too and see how he reacted to that. Accomplishes 2 things: his reaction might give you quite a window into this guy's motivation, or at least see how he deals with the same situation he's dishing out. Second, it keeps him on his toes. He's not the only hot commodity in town ; ) Sometimes games must be played.
Both! Also, good for when you've forgotten to chill the wine and want it right away but are not desperate enough for the WASPy alcoholic aunt-iness of "be a darling and put some ice cubes in it".
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