Crazy Sore Throat Cure

So yesterday I woke up with an insanely sore throat. I could feel this one coming on, as I always do, the night before and I was the third beer in of the evening. Of course I figured, by the time I felt it, there was no going back, so I ended up finishing the pitcher and getting cheese tator tots (hey I work out too much not to eat like a jerk, right? If I had to work out AND eat well all the time, I don't know if there'd be any joy in life at all. Today at brunch I ordered an appetizer. An appetizer. For brunch. I'll let that sink in).

So being a freelance writer has some incredible perks--several bosses, teams and jobs so each one feels fresh and interesting; the work always has to be turned around quickly and I work best under pressure, and the hours are flexible--I do work hard, but if I have to run to an appointment or go to my parents' home in Connecticut, I can take the computer with me or make up the work at 4 in the morning if I like. There are also drawbacks--you can feel lonely, you drink too much coffee, I've stopped wearing heels and makeup, nothing's secure and the pay is lowish, depending on the job. Another one? Health insurance.

Back to the sore throat. It was really bad. And mayhaps the beer aggravated it, but it was there, I swear. I woke up foolishly hoping it wouldn't be there, but it was. Much, much worse than before. I lied around in my bed trying not to swallow and watching old 30 Rock episodes and sipped tea to no avail. My mom's always sworn by warm saltwater gurgles, but it's never really worked for me. I just don't feel it. So I looked around on the internet in a furious rage that can only belong to an underinsured freelance writer on a Saturday afternoon having cancelled two sets of plans because of the damn throat, and found something.

Cayenne pepper.

I know! I was in so much pain I would try anything. I gargled with a teaspoon of the stuff, several shakes of salt and almost-hot glass of water. I gurgled a big cayenne bubble that popped and then flew up and hit me in the eye. I don't recommend this--do it with your eyes closed! Online they said do it every 15 minutes until the pain subsided. And it DID!

I'm not saying it worked completely and it wasn't nasty. It was. I gargled, I combined it with honey and lemon and ate the stuff, I made the worst hot chocolate known to man (about a quarter inch of cayenne on the bottom-ick), I covered the Pad Thai we ordered in because I ruined our plans by being sickly. But it kind of felt better.

And this morning I woke up with no sore throat--and that NEVER happens! Of course, the cold has now moved to my sinuses and I can't really breathe and I'm hacking a lung and almost ruined brunch. But the point is, I went to brunch! I felt well enough to go and though it was too expensive and I couldn't taste anything, I could swallow. And that was a victory.

I can't believe I didn't know about this before! Now to get rid of this nasty cold. Anyone out there have any surefire ways to get rid of a sore throat/cough/head cold without resorting to pharmaceuticals? And I promise, if I'm still bad by Tuesday, I'll go to the doctor...