Our two players enter. A good looking and yet extremely intense and creepy Israeli soldier aged 25 years and your intrepid reporter...our scene begins in a coed hostel bungalow in the rolling hills of Guatemala, overlooking a raging river, a happy community of hippies, and one of the most beautiful limestone pools ever known. It is now eleven PM.
Me, sleeping, drooling, having not showered in at least three days/ ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Israeli soldier/ Koi? Koi?
Me, sleeping/ Uh, are you talking to me?
Israeli soldier/ Yes, Koi, are you sleeping?
Me, sitting up/ My name is Kay, not Koi.
Israeli soldier/ I am being very brave to tell you this. I would like to give you many kisses. Your hair is a beautiful condition and your eyes are the big circles.
Me, trying not to laugh/ Uh, dude?
Israeli soldier/ Or we could talk perhaps. I just want to sit near you because you are so full of laughter.
20 minutes later...
Me/ So that's how, in my opinion, the actions immediately following Hurricane Katrina ended up being a microcosm of an overlying disease, one in hindsight that was nearly entirely preventable, within America's governmental infrastructure.
Israeli soldier, looking agitated, finally storming off to his own bed/ Yes, you are funny indeed. I come for kisses and you want to give speech about f$cking politics!!!
My apologies to you, dear Emmanuel. I didn't tell you of my hidden superhero ability to repel unwanted advances with an unending force of steely, boring US centric opinions...I am American, and this is the only way I know...