Thursday, December 06, 2007

Relationship Query

“So, she’s told you repeatedly that she’s really into you and couldn’t even look at another guy even if you do whatever with another girl.“

“Yeah”

“Wow. A tad premature right?”

“Yeah.”

(Sigh) “Girls need to get better about not doing that.”

“Yeah, well they need to be HONEST.”

“That’s so stupid. They ALWAYS want to be honest. And it’s like, sure, but, um, you’re clingy. And have invented our relationship in your head. So don’t be honest just yet.”

“Ha.”

“I have to talk (REDACTED) down from that nonsense all the time. People are always all ‘I don’t want to play games! I am who I am so you have to love me!’”

“Right.”

“But then it’s like, hey a-hole; we can’t just wear our pajamas to work, so to speak.”

People really abhor the idea of "playing games" because it sounds so sinister and fake and anti-love.

But is game-playing mutually exclusive with taking it slow, figuring things out, or any other social patterns in a mating ritual? We all want the parachute to be fully operational before we jump, but I think there are ways to get to the point about that and ways not to set yourself up for failure...to make sure the conditions are as perfect and stable as possible before you test them...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's all a game: acting interested, holding back, creating drama. Games are fun and we love them. Those that demand the absense of them are those who can't hold down a significant other and they want to show it all to begin with. but that's why! i know this seems controversial, but in my experience its true. hot chick with a slowly emerging needy personality gets to stick around much longer than one that shows it from the get-go and same goes for guys. its just by then you have enough care for a person to offset the freakiness. so wait to reveal your inner maniac-we all have it and the best chance of having someone understand it is if they have other stuff to go on first.

C-47 said...

eh... i dont know about that (above) I think it depends. I come from the school of jump and then check to see if I have a chute. And Ive had some very excellent long term relationships from it. You either dig dating crazy people (like me) or you don't and when they reveal their bananas to you doesnt really matter.
I will argue that its probably beneficial to get to know someone on a friend side beforehand.
My last one I just started dating like immiediately and then spent the next year getting to know, which is an awkward and strange vibe.

love,

me

Another Twentysomething said...

Oh for SURE play games. Like, dont show ll your cards at once or dud will think you're crazy!

Passionista said...

As I've always told guys, saying you "don't have game" is just another game!