Tuesday, September 04, 2007

MTV has something to teach us...or not

There was a point recently where I found myself eyeing MTV in the background of a strange person’s house. Isn’t that always how it goes, some weird party, and you become privy to the viewing habits of friends of friends, and you’re surprised, maybe even horrified? It was just like that. And I thought, wow, what is the problem with MTV, how could it have missed its mark so completely, its sold demographic utterly opposite of the truth behind it. I remember it was dogma in sixth grade for us. From 18-24 I’m not sure if we looked at it once, and now, here I am, now practically geriatric, and watching it again. In my own house and at risk.

And what have I missed?

I’ll tell you.

The absolute shaving of Silverchair. I mean, really? This is what’s happened to you, Daniel? See if you had just moved to Connecticut and married me like I wished when I blew out the candles as I turned twelve, none of this would have happened. I mean, jeez. I liked you a lot better when you were ripping off Pearl Jam.

It worked more than when you were ripping off Coldplay. Talk about "pulling a Fred Savage*".

But, as a really great side revelation of viewing this atrocity, if I were a guy, I would so wear a vest as a shirt just about every day. But I would dance a little better.

So much better in fact that I’d pretty much want to be this, no matter how much the other guys hated me, the other revelation which fell over my virgin eyes. The hottttness of what’s happening in the video is trumped only by its lyrics. I mean, I don’t know when it became acceptable for a daytime hook to demand that the girl which the guy is stalking with clothes-removing X-ray telescopes to “sit down on top of me” and that “Ooh, she wants it…so I got to give it to her”, but I sure am glad it did, aren’t you?

And lastly, in ridiculous round-ups, here is what happens when Brooklyn stagedads hit thirty and get their way.

Thank you, ex-pat, for showing me this, and the beginning of the end of the world. I’m waxing on MTV and these kids are paling around with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs citing the Sex Pistols as influencers? CSS remixes? WTF? And I thought Smoosh was bad (good?).

Wait, something is becoming clear. The Tiny Masters of Today are the Silverchair of yesterday. Let this be a cautionary tale to you, kids. Beware! See us old folks know a thing or two about a thing or two still…


*You know what I'm talking about. Adorable kid, not so adorable adult...


k said...


Tiny Masters of Today are so five minutes ago! And way old.

Check it:

Maryland's Eyeball Skeleton are eight-year old JJ Brown, ten-year old Charlie Brown and their Dad. The band met at a hospital in the mid-1990s.

Eyeball Skeleton's debut album "No. 1" collects all four of the band's hit singles ("Eyeball Skeleton," "Flat Top Vampire," "The Bouncing Apes" and "The Smoking Turtle.") previously available as self-released Cdrs. It was released April 4th, 2005 on My Pal God Records.

Each song begins with an image and title drawn by JJ or Charlie. JJ and Charlie write down ideas and lines for the lyrics, then work with Dad over waffles and coffee to organize the lyrics to fit their music.

In case you were curious, when they grow up Charlie wants to be a judge or a pro skateboarder. JJ would like to be a guitar player or an artist. For now, they're Eyeball Skeleton.

To order a copy of "No. 1" visit mypalgodrecords.com.

Ha Ha Sound said...

Well, I'm a bit older than you and MTV was already totally played out by the time I hit college. I can't remember the last time there was anything worth watching on it.

And the YYYs are the worst band of the millennium. Can't stand them.

Grant said...

K said: here I am, now practically geriatric

Don't be so hard on yourself. Now, you get the opportunity to laugh at their antics. Knowing full well what their actions will get them into.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ha Ha Sound, YYYs rule. You're old. Deal.