Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Conflict of Interest

Sort-of-celebrity: “Are you going to come to *insert fabulous location here* this weekend?”

My bangs and my shorts: “Yes, of course. Look at us! We just scream ‘part-ay’!”

My mouth: “No. I mean, I haven’t been invited.”

Sort-of-celebrity moving in close: “Consider this an invite.”

My bangs and my shorts: “Woo hoo! Validation! See? See? Look at how far we’ve taken you!”

My mouth: “Oh gee thanks, but I really was planning on finishing this book this weekend.”

Sort-of-celebrity: “Are you kidding?”

My bangs and my shorts: “That’s it. We knew you were too awkward to handle us.”

My mouth: “No, I mean, I just like, I mean…I just really like this new book I’m…uh. Yes. I am kidding! Reading sucks! Reading's for dicks!”

My bangs and my shorts: “We’re out of here, nerd.”

Let this serve as an open apology to the bangs, shorts and sort-of celebrities who may have been harmed during this conversation.


Anonymous said...

Sort of celebrity loves you anyway, even though you are a big dork.


Another Twentysomething said...

Bahaha, if I could bottle up awkward/nerdy moments like these and watch them in sequence as entertainment, I would stay in every Friday night to do so.

Ani said...

Bangs, shorts and brains? Sort-of-celebrity's the one that really missed out.

debo said...

If you just choose to be permanently blaise you rarely put your foot in your mouth.

bohémienne said...

I think I'd like a relationship with your bangs and shorts. They sound like superficial fun... my favourite kind.