Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Patience

I don’t have it. I don’t even want to have it. I’m a now girl, I like to bring it all, wild-eyed, screeching, in the moments of moments. A fling myself head on into the problem, jump the fence into the neighbor’s pool, bemoan the lost, celebrate the good, drink that bottle of wine, cry in the bathroom if I have to, now kind of girl. I laugh when something is funny. I let my expressions take over because I don’t want to face the limits and control of the rest.

But this waiting game (much of my life pattering by on this waiting game), the acceptance in a form of a packet, rejection in the slimmest of envelopes, the future asks where I am and I can’t answer for the next few weeks, months even. They stagger their yeses. Will I be one?

I am waiting on my life, not to begin, but the chosen part to really start. I have applied myself to apply myself. I am waiting, not patiently, for the answers. I am ready.

No I am not.

Let the rejection letters roll in over the next three weeks and hopefully I will know then, what may come, what August may bring…

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

No matter what you are still an incredible writer and THAT is what matters.

Brooklyn Frank said...

my bedroom is wallpapered with rejection slips. FYI.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I don't think I could handle wallpapering my room with rejection slips. That would drive me crazy.

Madame Pinot said...

good luck!

Cheetarah1980 said...

Completely understand where you're coming from. The letters really need to hurry up and come. Going to the mailbox is like walking through a minefield. I'm so scared to get a letter, but I'm scared not to. Ahhhh, the pain!! You'll get in. I know you will. It's just a matter of where.

goodnessgracious said...

good luck! i'm not there yet, but soon...

i'm sure you're going to get in!