Thursday, January 18, 2007

This guy I know went to the Golden Globes and all I got was this lousy blog….

One of the great things about not being someone who is going places, is having friends who are going places (I highly recommend this as it will enable you to never have the burden of working towards real accomplishments, but still gives you semi-interesting party stories to spin as you scan the room for left glasses of half-drunk vodka). So one friend, because he is going places and is pretty important in the scheme of movies, dolls out perks to us little people. Like we get to see reels before their release dates and occasionally go to parties where Nick Cannon is in attendance and the popcorn is free for the taking (score!).

But even better is hearing the weekending stories of aforementioned guy, one who wears a veritable utility belt of Razrs and Blackberries, one who works fourteen hour days and eats sushi on a private jet, one who now wants to wear a tuxedo when he goes out, because it “kind of feels cool”.

Some of the best tidbits:

Brangelina’s collective waistline is a mere 30 inches, and much shorter than previously thought. (For those of you who don’t believe, a re-enactment including a pair of jeans is available upon request.)

Jessica Biel can bench 350, minimum, with one arm even, we bet.

Michelle Trachtenberg is the new Lindsay Lohan, minus the rehab.

Sienna Miller is lovely, polite and British.

Emile Hirsch is the LA equivalent of the fifty dollar bill slip, when passed to the checkpoint at the door, you sail right in….but not at Hyde.

Paris Hilton still thinks she’s a star.