I’m thinking a lot about love lately. The good. The bad. The horrifying.
Sometimes I scoff at it, it seems trite and unmeaningful, like a label we assign to any feel-goods crossing our receptors. We throw it around, exploiting its importance.
“I love that shirt on you, I love kung fu movies, I love that girl—she’s so much fun…”
We even toss it around when we think what we’re saying is true and paramount. Could that be even worse?
“I’m in love with you, I’ll love him forever, she’s the love of my life…”
We use it, and in doing so, dilute reality, because words with such gravity should also have permanence. Sadly, they don’t. It’s fickle, blind, and all the other things they say. It does not respond well to logic and lists of why-shoulds and why-should nots.
That’s the thing about love from what I’ve seen, it’s powerful at times, destructive at others, but so often it is not enduring. It’s trying to capture light in a box. It seems so clear and tangible and real at times, and you close your hands around it to find you’ve just mashed your palms. Together but empty.
It’s enough to make you feel pretty small, a sort of how-dare-you-try-to-keep-it mentality, cause then it’s not yours…
I’ve seen it happen to people far more deserving than I. So what chance do the rest of us have?
I wonder today if there is someone out there for everyone. And if we’re so lucky for that, can we push our luck even further? To imagine that there are several someones, and we may have the opportunity, privilege even, to meet more than one in a lifetime? It’s asking a lot, but we’re humans and we’re selfish and demanding, so I have hope for that too, like so many other things in this world, because though today it’s raining, and it’s Monday, and we’re sighing into winter, all is not lost…
Sometimes I scoff at it, it seems trite and unmeaningful, like a label we assign to any feel-goods crossing our receptors. We throw it around, exploiting its importance.
“I love that shirt on you, I love kung fu movies, I love that girl—she’s so much fun…”
We even toss it around when we think what we’re saying is true and paramount. Could that be even worse?
“I’m in love with you, I’ll love him forever, she’s the love of my life…”
We use it, and in doing so, dilute reality, because words with such gravity should also have permanence. Sadly, they don’t. It’s fickle, blind, and all the other things they say. It does not respond well to logic and lists of why-shoulds and why-should nots.
That’s the thing about love from what I’ve seen, it’s powerful at times, destructive at others, but so often it is not enduring. It’s trying to capture light in a box. It seems so clear and tangible and real at times, and you close your hands around it to find you’ve just mashed your palms. Together but empty.
It’s enough to make you feel pretty small, a sort of how-dare-you-try-to-keep-it mentality, cause then it’s not yours…
I’ve seen it happen to people far more deserving than I. So what chance do the rest of us have?
I wonder today if there is someone out there for everyone. And if we’re so lucky for that, can we push our luck even further? To imagine that there are several someones, and we may have the opportunity, privilege even, to meet more than one in a lifetime? It’s asking a lot, but we’re humans and we’re selfish and demanding, so I have hope for that too, like so many other things in this world, because though today it’s raining, and it’s Monday, and we’re sighing into winter, all is not lost…
6 comments:
Oh, K. If I were there, I'd buy you a box of chocolates, we'd drink martinis at a bar looking fabulous and everything would be all better...
I can tell this has all really got you down. Hold on. There is definitely a love allowance that carries us all beyond our twenties. It'll get better.
There is someone out there for you. I am sure of it.
I ascribed that emotion to a person once, what feels like a long time back. It was not reciprocated so I thought I let it go. However my heart did not, it seems. I still see this person almost weekly in my sleep. Its enough to make anyone insane to be haunted constantly by somebody who, in the real world, has not thought of me in years. Its as tho my soul has been screaming to remind of something I only wish would pass. All it does is hurt. But at least the hurt lets me know that the emotion does exist and I am capable of it, or was.
I only write this to say that love does exist, no matter how much it may be daily watered down. Keep optimistic. There is someone out there for you, I am sure of it.
Yes, there is someone out there for everyone. Unfortunately, my soul mate was born in Africa and died of malaria at the age of three.
Yes, there is someone out there for everyone. Unfortunately, my soul mate was born in Africa and died of malaria at the age of three.
i dont think there is just one someone out there for everyone. i think certain people fit together - and those that last - put work into it. i get angry when people say stuff like "love shouldnt be work" because i love someone now, and at times its hard - but its all about both being equally invested in the effort. i think that it's hard to find, but if you open yourself up and stop looking for the little things (a musician, brown hair, at least 6') you'll find it. but only when you aren't looking.
I like to believe in hope and multiple someones. If not, I'm done because I tried and failed with the first.
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