Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Don't Be Like That

Blog,

You’re right. I haven’t been there for you lately. Not like I should have been. No, no, you’re right, seriously, I’ve been too busy and I’m sorry. Come on baby, don’t be like that. I still love you. Give me some of that sweet, sweet html.

What’s with the cold shoulder?

Oh great. Here we go again. Now the guilt trip. No, no, I’m listening. Go ahead. No, I am not making a face at you! I’m just thinking.

Well, if you must know, I’ve got a lot going on, is all. I’ve got classes and practice tests and applications and work and going home for the family and all that un-fun stuff.

No, that’s not all I’ve been doing. I’ve been doing other things.

Like what? You know, just stuff.

I already told you, stuff.

You want to push me? Fine. Here’s the truth. Right now, someone else is more important than you. That’s right. My writing sample. There, I said it. Happy?

Oh boy. Here come the waterworks.

Look, it’s not that Writing Sample is more important than you, I misspoke. It’s just that it’s more timely than you. It’s just that I need to get it perfect right now. You know, for school. Cause when that’s all over, I’ll show you all the love and affection you need. Promise.

Seriously, it’s different this time.

No, I do not love Writing Sample more than you. How could you even think that?

And it’s not even like Writing Sample has taken up all my time. I promise.

What? You want an example?

I'm thinking, okay?

Well, okay, here's one. I should have been working on Writing Sample yesterday and spent two hours spearing scallops and sipping wine with a married man instead. So you see, I’m treating Writing Sample like crap too.

What do you mean that doesn’t make you feel better? It wasn't even dinner! I don't even have time for dinner.

Oh come on. We talked about you for part of it, it’s not like you were completely out of the picture. He likes you, too. Well, maybe he was just saying that since the way to a girl’s heart is through her blog.

Come on…that was a joke. Don’t you like jokes anymore?

Jeeez, you used to be so much more fun. Now it’s just nag, nag, nag.

Wait.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.

Aw come here you. Let me give you a hug. I’ll be treating you better soon. Promise…

As soon as the writing sample is good enough, I'm back to you, better than ever.

8 comments:

debo said...

"How do you write as women so well?" -Fan
"I start with a man, then remove reason and sensibility." -Melvin Udall, As Good As It Gets

GeminiWisdom said...

I loved it. I felt like I was right there, too. Wading in all the excuses and not believing a word of it.

LisaBinDaCity said...

My blog is pissed at me as well. Oh well, it will get over it ;-)

Anonymous said...

that's way too funny =)

Anonymous said...

"Give me some of that sweet sweet HTML"---BRILLIANT!!!

hahahah

Sober In the City said...

Brilliant! I think your blog and my blog have been trading notes. Where do they get this stuff? Don't they understand that we had a life before them? - Unbelievable!

Cheetarah1980 said...

This is hilarious and so freakin creative and so freakin true. My blog can totally relate to how your blog feels. Maybe there's a support group for neglected blogs.

P.S.
The writing sample is kicking my ass too. And I'm treating it worse than I am my blog.

D.T. said...

Sounds to me, like you owe your blog a few html treats. You know to remind it that you still do love it and that you still do care. Of course, the same could be said for your fans as well...