In an effort to bolster my bank account so I may continue writing and apply to grad schools and sell my book, damnit, I am applying for part-time work. I sent a deluge of emails out recently for administrative jobs, or filing, or assistant work. I've done it before and I'm fairly capable and I won't be feeling the need to do anything but my job to its best (not wanting to try to get the boss's job I mean, I just want to be in a submissive role and have a steady paycheck and keep my nose clean).
So check out this email I just got back, in answer to my posting my resume. I have bolded my favorite parts. Spelling and spacing errors have been left as is.
Hello,
Thanks for applying for the post, I quite I appreciate it? I received and read your e-mail and it's reasonable and acceptable. So I will give this a go"
I'm looking for someone that can be trusted and reliable to work very well and good understanding person.
This position is home-based and flexible, working with me is basically about instructions and following them, my only fear is that I may come at you impromptu sometimes, so I need someone who can be able to meet up with my irregular timings. As my assistant, your activities amongst other things will include;*Running personal errands, supervisions and monitoring. Scheduling programmes, flights and keeping me up to date with them. Acting as an alternative telephone correspondence while I'm away. Making regular contacts and drop-offs on my behalf. Handling and monitoring some of my financial activities..
Basic wage is $500 a week . I'm sure you'll understand I tend to have a very busy schedule at t his point, as I am presently in Canada, I will be back in Three Weeks.
I think you're the right person for this post , Please note that this position is not office based for now because of my frequent travels and tight schedules, it's a part-time, work from home basis and the flexibility means that there will be busier weeks than others, so it's a little difficult judging the exact number of hours you'll be doing per week. If you can manage your time
properly, this job may even give you some extra while you do something else on the side. As I have said, I'd want us to get a head start with things as soon as possible. I do have a pile up of work and a number of unattended chores which you can immediately assist me with, I hope we can meet up with the workload eventually.
Permit me to use the coming week to test your efficiency and diligence towards all this, also to work out your time schedule and fit it to mine.. I really need to find the perfect person for this job, I'm confident you can take up the challenge and on the long run we should have a relatively sound working relationship between us.. I'm online most of the time as I am hard of hearing so
I prefer we contact each other through E-mails, but if there is need for me to call, I will be glad to do that. I am glad you are willing to work with me and i promise to be a good boss. I am also glad on the commitment in working. I have been checking my files and what i would want you to do for me this week is to run some errands out to some of the orphanage home, I do that every month. The fund s will be in form of Cashier Check/Money Order and it will be sent over to you from one of my clients and i have some list to email you once you received the funds,You will make some arrangements by buying some stuff for the kids in the nearest store around you so you can mail them out. I will get you more information on that, I will like you to get back to me with your
Contact Details such as.
Once I have received your contact information, I will get back to you with the task for this week,Understand you will also be paid as well as its important for me to
make the necessary steps
before i get back from my business trip back to the states. Hope I am clear with that.
Get back as soon as possible..
Showing posts with label workaday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label workaday. Show all posts
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Advice, Etc.
Rant Alert!
Boy am I glad this blog is pretty much anonymous because my God do I feel shafted by a group of designers right now. Why is it that every time I work with them they shirk their work so that they're doing the absolute minimum (and not one iota beyond their job description, even though they ask that of me) and they refuse to take a phone call and instead insist that any changes I have, no matter how small, no matter how much they screw them up unless I walk them through them, that I EMAIL THE CHANGES TO THEM.
Actually this is a rant about emailing versus calling people. I have spend an hour and a half writing a document which spelled out changes that a designer needs to make in layout and STILL they get it wrong? They do it even though I ask about 10 times can we just talk on the phone? But NO. They want to talk by email.
The 40 email chains that go back and forth instead of a 30 second phone call. And because of this, we are all working TWICE as hard, because I have to spend the time typing out the changes, they incorporate them and make mistakes all over the place incorporating them (because let's face it, making changes is hard when you are looking at two different documents and trying to keep your place, I get that, I've been there) when we could both BE ON THE PHONE, looking at the same document and MAKING THE CHANGES TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME. Then when it comes back to me, I don't have to freak out that everything will be all screwed up.
BTW, they still make me email the same document back and forth, even when they change things in layout that AREN'T IN THE DOCUMENT. AND CHANGE THEM WRONG (I'm editing text and some of it is in word form, some of it they use later for titles and stuff and even though I ask them to change it by email, they don't do it right, because they are ONLY LOOKING AT THE DOCUMENT WITHOUT THE EMAIL). AH! People just pick up the phone! Once you hear my voice you will know I sound like a child and am not scary and am actually trying to do this as efficiently as you!
And they all think I'm an annoying biatch because I demand that they do it right--I just know I'm known over there as the person that's difficult to work with because I have to keep saying over and over and over again, we are not to have "www" in front of a website, the magazine doesn't like it that way!
And yet, I still have and love this freelancing gig and apparently they do too and we have to work together and it blows because without them picking up the phone, they think every email I send is bitchy, and truthfully, I think the same of them.
Why Lord, why? And they always start every conversation with: I think there's been some confusion. Or why don't you go ahead and do that--when I have sent a request to them to do it? I get no respect there and I know they are nice people (why else would they keep getting hired) and good at what they do (except they don't seem to want to be working on the same team with me and somehow think my changes are negotiable even if something is spelled wrong because I have to tell them ten times it's wrong). Frustrating! What am I doing wrong? Anyone?
Boy am I glad this blog is pretty much anonymous because my God do I feel shafted by a group of designers right now. Why is it that every time I work with them they shirk their work so that they're doing the absolute minimum (and not one iota beyond their job description, even though they ask that of me) and they refuse to take a phone call and instead insist that any changes I have, no matter how small, no matter how much they screw them up unless I walk them through them, that I EMAIL THE CHANGES TO THEM.
Actually this is a rant about emailing versus calling people. I have spend an hour and a half writing a document which spelled out changes that a designer needs to make in layout and STILL they get it wrong? They do it even though I ask about 10 times can we just talk on the phone? But NO. They want to talk by email.
The 40 email chains that go back and forth instead of a 30 second phone call. And because of this, we are all working TWICE as hard, because I have to spend the time typing out the changes, they incorporate them and make mistakes all over the place incorporating them (because let's face it, making changes is hard when you are looking at two different documents and trying to keep your place, I get that, I've been there) when we could both BE ON THE PHONE, looking at the same document and MAKING THE CHANGES TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME. Then when it comes back to me, I don't have to freak out that everything will be all screwed up.
BTW, they still make me email the same document back and forth, even when they change things in layout that AREN'T IN THE DOCUMENT. AND CHANGE THEM WRONG (I'm editing text and some of it is in word form, some of it they use later for titles and stuff and even though I ask them to change it by email, they don't do it right, because they are ONLY LOOKING AT THE DOCUMENT WITHOUT THE EMAIL). AH! People just pick up the phone! Once you hear my voice you will know I sound like a child and am not scary and am actually trying to do this as efficiently as you!
And they all think I'm an annoying biatch because I demand that they do it right--I just know I'm known over there as the person that's difficult to work with because I have to keep saying over and over and over again, we are not to have "www" in front of a website, the magazine doesn't like it that way!
And yet, I still have and love this freelancing gig and apparently they do too and we have to work together and it blows because without them picking up the phone, they think every email I send is bitchy, and truthfully, I think the same of them.
Why Lord, why? And they always start every conversation with: I think there's been some confusion. Or why don't you go ahead and do that--when I have sent a request to them to do it? I get no respect there and I know they are nice people (why else would they keep getting hired) and good at what they do (except they don't seem to want to be working on the same team with me and somehow think my changes are negotiable even if something is spelled wrong because I have to tell them ten times it's wrong). Frustrating! What am I doing wrong? Anyone?
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Quote of the Day
Deputy Editor: Listen to this band, and tell me what you think. There are no right or wrong answers.
(Shuffling of keys and iPod earbuds)
Me: Huh. I think I need to listen to them more to really get it, but I like the second track better.
(Pause)
Me: I feel like I'm watching the The Dark Crystal for the first time.
(Pause)
Me: This is like the soundtrack to all those 80s cartoons where ponies lived on barren moons or something.
Deputy Editor: You just got hired to write the piece if you want it. Seriously.
I. Love. This. Magazine.
(Shuffling of keys and iPod earbuds)
Me: Huh. I think I need to listen to them more to really get it, but I like the second track better.
(Pause)
Me: I feel like I'm watching the The Dark Crystal for the first time.
(Pause)
Me: This is like the soundtrack to all those 80s cartoons where ponies lived on barren moons or something.
Deputy Editor: You just got hired to write the piece if you want it. Seriously.
I. Love. This. Magazine.
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