Wednesday, March 31, 2010

WTF: Scarface School Play

Whatever this viral video is selling, I will so buy ten. All is right (wrong?) in the world after seeing this!!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

I am a Music Journalist, Not a Groupie

I am this close to giving up on music for good. Last night I was chilling with a really great band and their decent-enough manager and I left to check out another band downstairs.

I came back up, the guys who I had been talking to were off somewhere else, and someone in the entourage who has already been rude to me told me as soon as I sat down that I needed to go, that he and the other non-band members in the room wanted privacy. What was I supposed to do? Stand outside with the other girls hoping to catch a glimpse of the band as they came back in and sleep with them? I was there to GET A QUOTE. I am trying to sell an article on these people! And this dude who has nothing to do with them (or if he does, he's not doing his job right because he thinks I'm there to make out with them?!) unceremoniously kicked me out like I was going to stand in the hallway until they were done doing whatever it was they were doing. Until he DEIGNED to let me back in. Well screw that. I got my coat and split.

He said it really rudely. I skipped the afterparty that the band had invited me to and left without saying goodbye to the band or the manager because of this jerk.

And for a long time I thought this was just bunk, but now in music, I know it's true. This never, ever would have happened if I were a fat guy with a notepad instead of a girl in heels. I wasn't taken seriously for a minute. It really, really bummed me out, and I am really close to giving up on music, because this is the second time in as many months that I have been treated like a groupie instead of a journalist by PR people or band-handlers or DJs. And it really hurts my feelings, and it really hurts my articles and this kind of shit DOES NOT HAPPEN WHEN I WRITE ABOUT FOOD.

I hate music today, and maybe for a long time. Last night was a total bust and I went to the show without a friend in sight and left without a friend in sight and I really thought that I was okay with that, but some days, I don't think I'm okay at all.

I was just treated like a piece of meat. And it's starting to wear on me that I have to put on a happy face and act like it's okay, and that I have to bow down to have the opportunity to hang out with a band. They have the opportunity to talk to me! I'm the one writing about them. Sheesh. I have to tee hee and xo my way through yet another email thanking everyone for letting me even meet them. As if I'm going to finish the article now! As if I'm going to spend one more minute pitching them to magazines who don't really care. Why should I put my neck on the line for any of these people when they can't even be cordial? When they act like they are doing me a favor by letting me fawn over them and make them poetic?!

Makes me wish I'd written their manager something nasty. But then you know, I'd be the dumb bitch who couldn't handle it! It's really driving me crazy right now. Really, really crazy.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Unbelievable and Truly Offensive Quote of the Day

Courtesy of my best friend from boarding school...her husband's name is Greg.

Warning: You will most likely be offended if you are a human being.

"One of Greg's coworkers has a mentally disabled 20 year old cousin. One day he called his mom at work and told her he had caught a troll. Statements like this were pretty typical, so she told him that she would check it out when she got home. He called again a few hours later still excited about the troll he had caught, and she again said he could show her when she came home. So, she came home and immediately he told her he had the troll in his closet. He took her to his room and there was a chair jammed under the closet handle. He opened up the closet and he had a midget Jehovah's witness in there. I could not stop laughing when Greg told me this. I think this is the funniest true story I have ever heard."

I know I can't laugh at this, but I can't stop.

Monday, March 22, 2010

School Update #45,347

On the waitlist at NYU.

I am the waitlist queen! Come on, someone drop off the waitlist of a NYC school and give it to me. Otherwise I am off to San Francisco where I know just about no one (my lovely bf from college in Seattle barely counts as my driving is so terrible she will have to come down to see me every single time, and I will make her!)

In the interim I am contemplating two very loaded questions:

1. Is it ever okay to date one of your ex's friends? Like if the friend was never that good a friend of theirs and you never had any inclination until you just recently saw each other again and you thought, well I liked his friend...why not this? It seems icky, but I think I am running out of people that I like enough to date. I am impossible!!

2. Sex with an ex is always a terrible idea right? Even if you can emotionally handle it? Even if you think one day you might get back together, or not get back together, as long as you're clear and they are clear and it's just fun.

Okay I know the answers to both of these is NO NO NO. But just wanted to ask. With my latest best friend in Chicago and no boyfriend/best friend to speak of in the close vicinity, I start to ask these crazy questions to myself. That's where you, the awesomely un-crazy, come in. Help me guys!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

School Update

Gah! On the WAITLIST of my number one choice, Brooklyn College.

Will have to sit here biting my nails for a while, but the program rocks and even a waitlist is a bit of validation that maybe, someday, I might rock, too.

(Fingers crossed....)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Relationship Advice

Not that I'm in one any more! But it came up that the boy, the last one, let's call him Boy, could not deal with the existence of other boys, lets keep them lowercase, because they were no threat to Boy, who stays capitalized because he WAS capitalized, in my life anyhow.

So Boy hates boys. I can understand how he would, as some of those boys used to be capitalized themselves (I dated them), but now they are just errant friends who I may run into once in a while or who text me once in a while, which enrages Boy who thinks that at any given moment I will run off into the sunset with other boys. I absolutely would not, but any communication with them, even if unprovoked, was thought to be very disrespectful to him. Which I get, and I'm sorry for, but in a world when you're 28 and you've had love in your life before, is it really fair to pretend like no one else ever existed? And can't you ever just be friends with someone? Or can't you ever just harmlessly flirt with someone? I find myself doing this all the time. I flirted with the mail-lady the other day. It's just my way. But it really hurt Boy, and I could never really understand why. I kind of dug it when other girls liked Boy. It made me proud.

Didn't make Boy proud. He hated it. Thought I was somehow doing it just to make him look bad.

Plus some of these boys I work with (never dated them), and Boy thought any communication with them would eventually turn into flirting or someone would get a crush on someone. But Boy spent so much time worrying about it when it wasn't true. And I would try to get him to get over it, but it just didn't happen. In a world filled with boys, how could Boy feel like number one? In the end, he just couldn't feel that way, which leads me to ask, if you are dating someone and that person is insecure about it, but you love them, is it ever okay just to stop talking to several people in your life?

And if that person you dated is no longer in your life, is it okay to go back to talking to those people? Or does the very act that you waited to maintain friendships or flirtships or even harmless text-buddy status until you were single prove that you were doing wrong in the first place by having any boys who were mildly attractive in your life?

Notice Boy is never jealous of unattractive boys.


Monday, March 08, 2010

First Acceptance

In at San Fran State for a Fiction MFA!

And with the possibility of getting a big fat scholarship IF I say yes by end of week.

But I have 9 more schools to hear from?! And want to stay in New York I thought...(Brooklyn, I'm talking to you).

Here's hoping I know more by the end of the week.

Woo hoo finally some good news!

Inspired Quote of The Day

"A future full of certain constant rejection doesn't mean that those feelings of hurt and inadequacy have to be stuffed and denied. We're all nervous and are finding comfort in commiseration. I think it's been said before on this board that we lose too many artists to finding their desperately needed comfort elsewhere--drugs, suicide, retail jobs. Here is community--take it or leave it. We hope you'll take it."

-Courtney, on the MFA Acceptance Blog, as we all cry ourselves sick about getting in or not getting in to school.

Pretty good quote about life too, now that I think of it...

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Just ReDiscovered My Old Faves

Remember how much I used to post about these guys? I totally forgot about them for two years. Now I can't believe I stayed away so long.

PS. Don't watch whilst eating.

Uh Oh, planning my next great escape

When trauma happens...I leave.

Am anxiously awaiting hearing positive word from agents and schools (don't worry, I'll tell you when I hear anything good and won't tell you if I hear anything bad) and the waiting is K-I-L-L-I-N-G me. Doesn't help that I'm bearing this burden alone this time as the boy, well...that's a very tricky situation. There's just a girl. Me. And I am crawling the walls.

I think I want to go away on another epic adventure. One where I write a lot, one where I meet a lot of people, one where I come away having a lot to say. Right now I'm silenced by the silence. Best friends have moved away, boys have broken down because of the economy, big beautiful apartment all to myself. Which would be great if I were the kind of person who liked to be still. I'll be plenty still when I'm dead.

Must. Stop. Looking. At. Southeast. Asian. Airfare.

And instead look at an empty email inbox? No, that can't be the answer either.

Le sigh.